Warning: This is not true Metal Gear!

Contributed by by Ryouga, who is rumored to be related to Ginger from Gilligan's Island

Badman's rope is among the hostages in the compound

I thought it started when I got in the damn base... | Maybe not THE truth gas, but it is a truth gas... | I get three graves? Wow, it's a graveyeard of me! | Keep in mind, this game, and therefore, this intro was MADE IN AMERICA... | "I'm done for, but that rope has a family to get back to!" | Wait, he's a Lieutenant now? I thought his rank WAS Snake...

And the bastard didn't even leave a forwarding address! | BLOW UP! BLOW UP THIS AREA! | Uh, yay?!? | Why couldn't he just tell me that? | Oh boy, World Peace Day! A day assured to be safe from terrorist attack! | ...For some reason, this just doesn't look right | CALL IN THE TENTACLE PENIS ARMY! | ...So why don't you just tell me the info now? | Oh right, THAT room! Thanks for narrowing it down! | ...You know, it's usually quite easy to see if it just "seems" to have started or not... | ...Any clue what's going on here? | Again, pretty easy to tell if you've SEEMED to stop or not... | OK then | I WANT THE TRUTH! | It may be kind of hypocritical of us to comment on bad spelling, but I'm going to anyways | Think before you speak, also | The radio may be weak throughout the game, but it eliminates any constant speeches by Russian chicks about "DE NUCLEAR BOMB IZ VERY BAD! MEGATONS! MUF! CHERNOBYL!" | Pretty much the ONLY crazy idea for a plot not used in Metal Gear Solid 2 | Sorry Snake! The last Metal Gear is in another base!