A friend of mine says this game sucks because you can't fit it in a bathtub. I say he's insane, not so much of his opinion, but because the game sucks for countless other reasons.

Ya think this could be a sexual metaphor? | The double exclamation points make it even more dramatic!! | But they aren't in my inventory!! | Trying to grab that torch makes me SO MAD!!! | WEE! | Looks more like a cyclops to me | More than a normal rip, it's quite royal | The drama! The drama! | Touching scrolls makes for sweaty hands