Okay, it's a groundbreaking, riveting, and intense adventure game; but the real beauty of this game is that you can be a complete and total drunken lech and the girls WON'T sleep with you! Yes, it's like a hentai game except realistic!

From pancake, Cyberpunk power!

Better than the "Lost Generation"...

One liners:

If this is what we're going to name our spaceships in the future, I don't think mankind is ready for the terrors of space | Dork. | Technology is truly a wonderful thing | What the hell are you going on about, woman?! | Oh yes, I could tell by the getup you're wearing | Franglish is so classy | MIDGET SMASH!!! | So... I'm not to trust anyone? Gotcha, chief. | Some context: I just introduced myself to him four or five times

Gillian Da Mack:

Drunken advances are always the best kind | Smoothest man in gaming, no question | Gillian and Metal Gear are beginning to remind me of Beavis and Butthead | CURSES! That robot always spoils my fun | Ah, the life of an investigator is a hard one indeed | Cruelest joke EVER | Gillian, luckiest man in videogamedom | I don't understand 'em either, G | Gillian's pickup lines are truly the stuff of legend | And my cavorting catches up with me... | Can't catch a break, can he? | Natural resources I'd like to plunder! | Best scene in the entire game | It's lines like these that make Gillian Seed a legend | Plus, he always showers the objects of his affection with amazing gifts | Gillian Seed has an annoying tendancy to turn every woman he's with into either lesbians or grandpa chasers | The chief's just jealous, dammit | She didn't seem very mad, though | Smoothest cat EVER | I dunno, you think she'd go out with Gillian or the little robot? | Gillian obviously thinks that funerals are a great place to catch chicks on the rebound | REJECTED!

And more miscellany:

I bet this'll show up at the Portal of Evil sometime | I couldn't have described it better myself | But the girl in River City Ransom gave me a smile for free!!! | Hee hee | Gillian and Metal Gear almost sound like man and wife, and that's fucking freaky to think about | Some of those features sound like the kind of stuff Oscar winners make, yeah... | Perverted robots. God, I love this game | MG speaks in Ayla english as Gillian gorges himself on company funds | Poor Gillian... | Uh, I think it will also give you the "Radiation Poisoning" | More toilet humor! HOORAY! | Always look on the bright side of life!

Konami Jokes:

I know I considered it a few times because of Castlevania... | It's like an episode of the twilight zone! Doo doo-doo doo doo doo-doo doo... | Konami, masters of sucking their own cocks | An amusing, yet historically inaccurate, subtle-as-a-brick-to-the-face piece of social commentary | Ah, Sparkster. No one knows who he is now, and I doubt they'll know in 2045

The developers:

Yes, everyone just wants to go back to sleep... | I liked the ONE SONG a lot, thanks | Something tells me that you have a future in J-Pop with your mastery of cutesy english cliches | America, mecca to the potato diggers | Manic jabbering? I could tell. | The first vidphone call to Jeremy Blaustein: The game's translator explains the mechanics of living in a translated world. | The second: Gillian wrestles with Jeremy's wife | The third: Snatcher-cat | Oh my God! The Pope worked on Snatcher! | "Oh, Sam" | Prophetic? I think so. | Sound advice, but do you think the dropout type would be playing a text game? | More sound advice from the Konami crew | THE MAN speaks | She obviously doesn't go out on many dates, does she? Not even Gillian would hit on her after that tirade. | I wish my blood type was red | Yoshikazu Matsuhana, honorary planeteer | This just doesn't sound right | He's LOUD, and he digs a non existant game. It's a mental state? Sounds like someone's taken a few too many blows to their mental state | Another girl with some J-Pop futures | I don't know what he's talking about, and don't want to know | I think there's a reason why Konami was able to make Parodius | Gillian the pusher | DON'T DO IT MAN! IT'S NOT WORTH IT! | This guy isn't very nice, in fact, he's pretty CONTRARY | The truth comes out! | This guy is SO asking for a wedgie | Geeky enough blood type? | Yes, he certainly is a dork | I hope he was wanting to play hentai mahjong!

Someone's been hitting the bottle a liiiittle too hard

Genital manipulators? Is that like the machine from Nine Inch Nail's Happiness in Slavery video?