You know, most of my fantasies don't involve incredibly annoying and disorienting vertical scrolling.

WHY must you be so patronizing toward the sound effects? They may be small, but they have more heart in their little waveforms than you could ever hope to have, YOU COLD-BLOODED RAT BASTARD | The reference to jingles seems to be have been added as an afterthought, presumably because the jingle writers threatened to sue