Please buy this game and support a starving international basketball superstar legend! He needs YOUR support to eat fried endangered tiger meat and caviar, cooked on hundred dollar bills, for shelter on a palatial estate that covers roughly the landmass of montana, and for his education in what to do when your house has no more room for thousand dollar bills. Please give generously.

From Person, retiring, making a comeback, retiring again, and making another comeback.

Brilliant, just brilliant.

Right, accidentally | I don't think NBA players talk this way | This game is clever | Monty Python reference. "Indubitably"? | I'm sure he could use a few pointers | Alright, hanging out with the fellas! | Too busy hanging out with the fellas, right | Thanks for the pointer, coach | People should show a little more respect to His Airness instead of telling him how to run his kingdom | I better go out and purchase one, or not | None of a kind | Mike's terribly insecure about his ribcage

The NPC interactions in this game are nothing short of brilliant | Whoa | This is his gift, his curse | I usually just stop at mid-stroke | As if he didn't have enough of a complex already | MATE? | Michael Jordan is clever | Dude | [cue flashblack of his childhood] | Not a wicked wink! | So these gold spiders aren't like the ones in Zelda:OOT | Well, you know, a spitball's pretty small | The video game business finally takes its dreadful toll on Mike's cognitive functions