Who better to star in a video game than a pathetic middle-aged man dressed like a clown who promotes sad little hamburgers for a gigantic faceless corporation?

[Bonus material: A vocal rendering of the second quote by Ungaboo]

Contributed by DoomedQuaker, the secret ingredient in the sauce.

Never thought there'd be a money system worse than Faxandu's | English is obviously not the giant tomato's first language